


The Boy Who Could Draw

by DoctorFatCat



Series: The Boy Who Could Draw [1]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Based off that thingy you see sometimes on tumblr, Implied Child Abuse, Implied Violence, M/M, Not explicit but still, Self Harm, Some Fluff, Suicide, cliché honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 08:01:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10827144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorFatCat/pseuds/DoctorFatCat
Summary: I knew a boy that knew how to draw,He drew pictures that nobody saw.He was more artistic at night,In the bathroom, out of sight.





	The Boy Who Could Draw

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually the best oneshot I’ve ever written. But I don’t know if it’s going to be as good in english as it was in portuguese. Oh well, I’ll try. Hope you like it :3  
> (Written on late 2015 probably)

“Are you sure you won’t get into any problem being out this late, Ry?” I asked, lacing our fingers together, holding his hand firmly against mine.

“It’s not a problem, it’s not like my parents care anyway.” He said with a smile, trying to hide how much it hurt on him to say that. I tightned my grip on his hand, he looked up at me and I smiled, he smiled back at me. He was beautiful under the moonlight. “How much to get there, Bden?” He asked me in a whisper. I shook my head. We kept walking following by stone sidewalk from that old street, leading to the end of it. The majority of the residents were elders, so there were no one to be seen. Ryan gasped as he tripped and ended up acidentally running into me.

“Sorry.” He said. I could barely see his face in the darkness, bus that pale skin under the moonlight was enough for me to see his red cheeks.

“It’s okay. Just be careful, I don’t want you hurting yoursef.” I answered. He nodded, blushing again a trying to hide his face behind his fringe. I smiled, he was adorable.

_I knew a boy that knew how to draw,_

_He drew pictures that nobody saw._

_He was more artistic at night,_

_In the bathroom, out of sight._

We kept walking until we found the sidewalk’s limit and our feet found the soft surface from the grass. Ryan moved closer to me when he saw the river. I turned my face to look at him and my heart melted when I saw the smile on his face. It was a genuine smile, I knew it was. We walked to the river. Ryan was completing the large field and the river’s margin, which had some distributed trees here and there, it was like the place had been made to take someone special with you and look at this person under the moonlight, feel his’ skin warmth against your own while you both stare at the stars. That’s what I was planning to do.

“What do you think?” I asked, caressing his hand with my thumb.

He smiled at me with sparkles on his eyes.

“This place is beutiful, B. The river is beautiful, they sky too, the Moon, obviously, and you, in the first place.” He said, taking my other hand and resting his forehead against mine, making our noses tickle each other’s a little. “Thank you.” He whispered.

“I thought you deserved a special night, far away from everything, just like me.” I said, coming closer and pressing our lips together sweetly. As we pulled away, I laced one of my arms around his waist. He rested his head on my shoulder and put his arm around my back, I raised our hands with our fingers still laced and took a step to the side, which he followed. He started to move our bodies slowly, dancing with no music, just enjoying each other’s company. “Today it’s only you and me, and the Moon. Until she sets and the sun come back.”

_He didn’t tell a soul and his gallery grew,_

_His drawings were different, no pencils or pens,_

_But needed a band-aid now and again._

“I wish she would forget to fall down, just tonight.” He sighed. I pulled aways from him and kissed his cheek, pulling him with his hand still on mine to the river’s margin. We sat with our backs against a tree. I put my arm around his shoulders and he rested his head on my shoulder. It was around midnight, the city lights were weak, so we were able to see the stars shining, Ryan’s eyes mirroring it.

“You’re beautiful.” I said in a low tone. He looked at me with those big eyes and smiled shyly.

“Thank you.” Ry said in the same tone I did. We kept silence after that, enjoying each other’s company, breathing the pure air and listening to the running water from the river. “Bden?” Ryan said weakly.

“What?” I asked sweetly, caressing his arm with my hand, hoping he wasn’t feeling cold. He moved away a bit and adjusted himself on his seat, staring at the river’s water, cooler than before, with a thoughtful look on his eyes.

“You’ve been amazing to me and I felt happier in a few days than I did for years. But… I’m afraid I’m not being completely honest with you.” He said. His voice broke at the end of the sentence when a tear fell from his left eye.

“What do yo mean, Ry?” I asked worriedly, getting closer and putting my arms around him again, knowing that makes him feel safer. “You can tell me no matter what it is.” I whispered, kissing his neck.

I saw his fingers rubbing his long-sleeved shirt’s fabric, nervous. Some seconds in silence had passed when he moved his hand to his wrist and pulled his sleeve up, revealing scars, cuts and some band-aids. Two tears fell on his arm and I looked back at his face, frowning at the tears that were running down his cheeks.

_We stood by the river, under the stars,_

_He pulled up his sleeves and showed me his scars,_

_He was embaressed and stared at his shoes._

“I’m not the beautiful person you think I am.” He said. I barely heard his voice. “I’m deformed.”

I put my fingers on his chin and turned his face to me. I kissed his wet cheeks before wiping the tears away with my thumbs.

“We’re both deformed, in that case.” I whispered to the boy in front of me. I pulled my sweater’s sleeves up and showed him my arms, which weren’t different from his’. He stared at it with wide eyes before looking into my eye. I knew he wanted to lecture me, but he couldn’t. He cupped my face with his hands and brought his lips to mine gingerly. For the first time I felt his tongue finding mine. I put my arms around his waist and we kept kissing, feeling the other’s soft lips. “You’re still beaufitul to me, Ryro.” I said. I felt his smile against my lips. He hugged my neck and kissed me deeply. I wasn’t sure how much time we stayed there kissing, but when we finally pulled away, we were breathing heavilly.

_I pulled up my sleeves and whispered “I draw too.”_

“I’m so sorry.” Ryan said after a while of we staring at each other.

“For what?”

“My cuts, your cuts, everything. For my father being a drunk idiot, for the life I live. For the life you live.” He said. I got closer and hugged him.

“Let’s forget everything tonight, okay? Let’s just stay here and hope the Moon will stay with us forever.” I whispered.

“You are my Sun.” He said out of the blue.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, smiling.

“You light me up, you make me feel warm, you make me a better person.” Ryan said, smiling sweetly.

“You’re my Moon.” I said in he same tone. “You’re little and breathtaking, and all I want to do is light you up more and more.”

Ryan smiled and pecked me on the lips. We stayed there for more two hous, chatting about silly and insignificant things, hugging and kissing until we had to go back. I walked Ryan to his house and went home smiling like an idiot. I was proud that I had been able to give him a peaceful night.

 

 

**_Ryan commited suicide that night. In a piece of creased brown paper, found on the lifeless’ boy hand, the following words had been witten._ **

_“You made from my last day the best one, and for that, I’ll be eternally grateful. Sadly, the Moon would have to fall down one day, and I’m sorry the day came so fast. I love you, Bden, keep holding on, for me;_

_Eternally yours,_

_Ryan.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Notes I wrote back when I translated this: I’m sorry this is sad, I saw a picture on Tumbr with that poem, idk where it’s from, so I had this idea. Remember that just because Ryan did that, that’s not the answer, okay? You’re strong, I know you are. I love you.
> 
> Oh, there will be an alternate ending, a happy one, so stay around to see the alternate cute and happy ending.
> 
> Thanks for reading, love you!
> 
> xx


End file.
